Adventures of an Asshole

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Rants - Kings of Leon worst band of the last decade. Who am I kidding, last 250 years - 09-Jan-2010 @ 19:50

I seriously never heard of Kings of Leon until I was watching VH1's Top 40 of 2009, which really was a show made to shove the same stupid shit down your throat one last time before the calendar changed. Anyway, not only had I never heard of them before this point, they were #2 on the count down, not only that, some fucking retard on the show (which I've seen before on other VH1 shows) claimed that they were "the greatest rock band out there."

They fucking suck.

I didn't hear about Kings of Leon until the end of 2009 because I'm not a person that runs around with a Top 40 billboard chart attached to my ass. Instead I've got this revolutionary mindset where I listen to what I want, when I want, and if sucks I don't listen to it. The guy who made such a bold claim reminds me of those utter morons who say things like "How can you have more than 200 songs?" Being musically retarded doesn't mean that you know what the hell you're talking about.

Just because the "world's greatest rock band" is irrelevant, that hasn't stopped idiot performers from jumping on the bandwagon. There are about 7 billion cover versions of their hit song "Use Somebody." Why? I have no fucking idea, but I have to be honest and say some of the cover versions are actually better than the original, but most of them suck just as bad.

Here's a run down of everyone that's covered them to date:

  1. Margaret Durante
  2. Paramore (they obviously can't spell)
  3. Kelly Clarkson (she made the song gain weight too)
  4. Nickelback (they managed to make it sound exactly like all of their other songs, which also all sound exactly like each other)
  5. Pixie Lott (she's hot but clearly a moron)
  6. VV Brown
  7. Friendly Fires
  8. Tiki Taane
  9. NX Zero (even the Brazilians can't escape this scourge of the Earth)
  10. Brooke White
  11. Ultrabeat
  12. Trae
  13. Laura Jensen
  14. Steve Appleton
  15. Justin Timberlake
  16. Bat For Lashes
  17. Nick Jonas (fag)

There's probably a billion more versions we haven't heard about, but clearly this is becoming the next The First Cut Is The Deepest, which is another song covered by countless idiots, and it's even more terrible. Aside from having stupid lyrics and stupid tune, it was written by terrorist supporter Cat Stevens; fuck him too.

I feel comfortable stating that Kings of Leon is as revolutionary and as great as O-Town. Simply put they're both overrated crap that might excite a small group of morons but for the most part it's the same recycled horse shit we get every year.

Let's do a side by side comparison.

The groups are more or less the same: you have the intellectual yet sensitive one, the freaky one, the leader/tough guy, and the rugged rocker. O-Town however has the black guy to help even things out a bit and to make their songs more sexy now that their #1 hits will have a big penis.

Really the conclusion is that Kings of Leon is not the greatest band out there, Tom Christopher Band is!