Adventures of an Asshole

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Rants - Gym Class Heroes will destroy the Universe - 23-Sep-2008 @ 19:19

If you've ever wondered why people kill themselves, well I might have something that psychiatrists might be interested in. Fundamentally speaking, I think Gym Class Heroes are the cause of every self inflicted gun shot wound, plunge off of a bridge or building, or purposefully eating raw meat and hoping for the worst.

But why?

Well, if you have ever heard of them, it isn't hard to figure this out.

A couple of years ago, i.e. 2006, I first heard Travis McCoy open his mouth in the single "Bring It" by Cobra Starship. It wasn't necessarily his song, but it was garbage enough to cause the universe to ripple in terror. Here is the video:

DISCLAIMER: I take no responsibility for any eye gouging and ear-drum popping that happens during the watching of this video.

If you made it through the video or just didn't want to watch, we can all agree that it is utter shit. The guy with the long brown hair, that kind of looks like a woman, reminds me of a guy I went to high school with named Nathan, except the guy in the video is a billion times gayer. As for the song, anyone who doesn't believe it's complete garbage, is a fucking idiot.

If Travis McCoy had not already done enough damage polluting young minds with his garbage, he actually made a video for the song called "The Queen and I". Basically the song is about how his girlfriend is a total alcoholic, gets in dangerous situations, might even die, but who cares I'm Travis McCoy. You can look this video up yourself.

Once the world thought it was safe again, Gym Class Heroes created another vomit inducing video for us to watch. This time it was the song "Cupid's Chokehold", which was originally released a year before but didn't even make it into the top 1 billion hits of the year because of how shitty it was. Somehow it managed to slip by the sane and came into being. The highest it got was to #4 (actually #3 in Ireland, but nobody likes those fucking Micks anyway).

Basically "Cupid's Chokehold" uses the music and chorus, as well as the "ba ba da da" part from the Supertramp song "Breakfast in America."

Wait, who the fuck is Supertramp?

That's exactly the response I get when I tell people this song is a terrible rip off. Granted, I'm not the world's biggest fan of 1970s and 80s rock band Supertramp, but even their worst song is still better than Gym Class Heroes' best song.

This is the original Supertramp song:


Okay, so it wasn't bad at all, it's a decent song I guess, at least for the time.

However he's the Titanic sized catastrophe that Travis McCoy helped create:

I suggest not listening to it. Basically it is the worst pseudo-cover with the worst pseudo-sample in the entire history of humanity. Nothing at all compares to the complete, tacky, played out horse shit that Gym Class Heroes has created. My friend Tom Wonder questioned how this song could have 20 million views on youtube, considering how terrible it is, I wonder the same.

Beyond a doubt, I am convinced that if Gym Class Heroes makes another song the Universe will implode on itself and the end will come in a ball of compressed plasma.

Then again, I welcome it, because I'd rather fucking die than ever hear them again.