Adventures of an Asshole

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Rants - Computers in the ghetto - 26-May-2007 @ 12:50

The place I work is situated in the middle of the ghetto. And I'm not talking about a few run down stores, some white trash, and some blackZ. I'm talking about homeless people, crack heads, and people coming in constantly asking for change and/or trying to steal things.

When I first started working there about 7 months ago, about two weeks after I started, my girlfriend's former aunt actually stole a laptop with her fellow meth addict boyfriend. Nobody could ID her but my girlfriend and her family did pretty much instantly. And, of course, hating meth addicts with a passion, I told my boss who quickly told the cops. LuLz!

About a month after that a lady who was all cracked out came in: "My friend was shot up the street, I need some change, he was shot" Meanwhile she was like scratching all over herself and such, she was obviously on something.

My philosophy I communicated was that if your friend really did get shot, he probably deserved it, and I'll never give my change to any crack-monkey.

After she left, about two minutes later, an ambulance went by and went right to the location she was talking about. I guess she wasn't lying. LoL!

Meth addicts really love to try to come into the store and steal things, and they're really bad at it too. They also don't seem to notice when there are about 4 employees following them around.

Case in point:

Once this lady came in, obviously on something, and was looking through our RS-232 (9 pin serial) cable bins, yeah, like she needed something there. She looked like shit, like a burn victim, and she had this massive ginger mullet

Eventually, mostly for the lulz, honestly -- about 6 employees were standing over her just in awe at this 30 year in the making mullet she had. Eventually she left without buying anything.

There are many more, which I'll write about some other time -- mostly because I can't remember them.

However, other than just stealing from us, they also love to steal from other people and try to sell us the computer as a "used computer". We don't buy used products at all (there's no money in it despite what anyone says). There are at least 10 phone calls a day from people asking if we do, and they always sound like they've been using drugs.

Which brings me to my all time favorite to date.

This guy brought in a laptop, complete wigger, with his friend. His friend had this massive bandage on his throat like someone tried to slit his throat but clearly failed. The guy himself was totally white trash wigger, and a ginger.

The laptop had Korean Windows XP pro, but originally came with Vista (due to the sticker on the keyboard area). So the guy naturally said "I have Windows Vista", even though when it was coming on right in front of him, it was Windows XP.

Anyway, he said that he "accidentally changed the language when I was fucked up last night".

The whole god damn thing was in Korean. I told the service manager "It's impossible to change the language on this version of Windows" and the guy asked "It's impossible?", I said "Yeah, it has to be installed in this language" He then said "One of my roommates could be playing a joke on me."

Yeah, fucking likely.

I looked up the language information on Windows XP and showed the Service Manager, but one very important thing stood out.

On the desktop were Korean named directories and a short cut to QQ (a Chinese Instant Messenger service), complete with the username chicagojinli (it was similar to this, but for the guy's sake I changed it for the Internet). I opened up a document and it was written in Korean.

Turning the laptop over all the warning messages were in Korean. I noticed the keyboard was standard US English, however, but on the back there was an obvious repair done to the power outlet.

This laptop was stolen, obviously.

I reported this to my boss, who seemed to just want to keep the guy waiting.

After like 10 minutes, the guy was getting really nervous and said "I'll come back later" and took the laptop with him -- haven't seen him since. Shocking!

I mentioned the outlet repair. Well about a month before this event we had repaired the outlet for a Korean computer that looked exactly like this one, and we also replaced the keyboard with an American one! It's a small world.

My boss also said that he knew the guy. He was the son of this woman he knew a long time ago. Apparently the guy has always been a crook, and once when his mother got fired from some restaurant, he kept trying to call the Department of Health on them, buy nobody took him seriously. It's really hard to take a white guy speaking really bad ebonics (is that possible?) seriously.