Adventures of an Asshole

Tales from the Street


Stories - Old Wiggers and Line Cutters - 24-Jan-2008 @ 06:27

For the record, I have no problem with black people, but I really hate the gangsta types, especially white ones. There is something about white gangstas that makes them even more annoying, and they also seem to look more dirty to me, like they're full of STDs. However, what's worse than a wigger is an old wigger.

One time I thought I was going to have to fight one, and the story is like this.

I was at the bank that's in a local grocery store trying to deposit some checks, and the line was being held up by some old, dirty hippie around 60 years old. He apparently wanted to withdraw some money, but couldn't remember his account number, social security number, and didn't have a license or any other identification on him. This old bastard was trying to scam and he was wasting everyone's time. His son or son-in-law, who was about 40 years old, was going back and forth between the "self-checkout" area and the bank waiting on this old guy and his girlfriend at the check out, who had about six kids with her.

These kids were running around, screaming, grabbing people's bags, and causing all kinds of grief. When I say kids, I mean they were six to ten years old and were all dressed like little wiggers. Everyone in the store seemed to be annoyed with these monsters and wanted to beat all their asses.

At one point, the old wigger came up to the old hippie behind the rope and so did two of the kids. The old guys were talking and one of the kids darts out faster than lightening under the rope and slams his stupid ass right into an old lady's shopping cart -- it was funny as hell. The old wigger starts bitching at the lady to watch where she is going, and nobody is stepping up to defend her.

That's where I come in.

They call me "Two Ton Tony", not because I'm a fat ass, but because I'm just a big guy who most describe as "looking mean". I say this so you know that I'm not just some skinny short guy running his mouth -- I'm a giant guy running his mouth. I get out of line to where I can see them all clearly.

I say: "Hey, what the fuck are you doing you old wigger mother fucker? It's not her fault your bratty, stupid ass kid ran out in front of her. Next time it might be a car, hell, that might be a good thing."
Old Wigger: "Who do you think you're talking to?" and walks up to me.
Me: "Obviously the oldest fucking wannabe-nigger in the history of earth. You fucking poser, you get away from me or I will take you out into the parking lot and fucking kill you."

At this point everyone in the store is staring, even this old ass security guard with one foot in the grave. Nobody was moving, the old wigger and his hippie dad were staring at me. The hippie looked like he was trying to think of something to say, probably "make love not war" -- so I quickly keep him from talking.

Me: "As for you, you hippie fuck -- get your stinky old ass out of line. You sure as fuck don't have any money, everyone knows you're trying to scam the bank. You're wasting my and this woman's [behind the counter] time. Both of you keep these fucking kids under control or they'll end up to be just as crooked and fucked up as you. Get the fuck out of here and go back to smoking crack or meth, or whatever it is you waste the money you do have on."

Again, everyone was silent, nobody was moving. I thought by now the security guard would have come up to me, or someone would have called the police, but he hadn't and nobody seemed to be using the phone.

They left the self-checkout and didn't say anything, the old wigger, his ugly girlfriend, the old hippie, and the six kids were leaving. As they passed me I spit at the wigger and said loudly, "Fucking poser!"

After that everyone started to get back to what they were doing, and a few gave me a look of appreciation. I don't think anyone bothered to call the police, because these people were just trying to scam. I imagine the woman was stealing stuff in the self-check out area too.

I got back inline and I did the nice thing of putting myself at the end of the line. Since the hippie was gone, the line was moving at a decent pace, so I wasn't too worried about getting to the teller before the bank closed.

However, someone else was trying to cause problems after that. A few more people get inline behind me, some guy around forty, who looked like a mechanic or something, kept standing sideways next to me, clearly trying to cut. At first I wasn't sure if he was trying to cut or not, so I didn't want to say anything to him. When I was next to be in line for the teller, he was starting to move into position and was clearly trying to cut me.

I said, "What do you think you're doing?"
He says, "What?"
I say, "You're trying to cut me, you're making it pretty fucking obvious too."
He says, "No, I'm not"
I say, "Then why are you trying to get in front of me?"

He doesn't say anything to that, he knows he's been busted, and he's standing really close to me; about as close as two people slow dance. I put my hand in his face and say "Ease back! Ease back!" and he moves behind me. Just then I got to the teller and did my banking, she was pretty nice to me, I think I made her happy by getting rid of that old ass hippie and stupid wigger.