Adventures of an Asshole

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Stories - My Uncle isn't Racist, but ... - 24-Nov-2007 @ 09:29

I do not have exact dates or details, nor could I find an online source to link to, mostly because it happened long before the Internet existed -- not to mention my uncle wouldn't want me to post this kind of thing anyway. He doesn't know about this web site, yet. If he ever finds out, I'll either have to remove this story, or he'll provide even funnier details.

Back in the very early 1980s my uncle was in college and was king of pranksters. Not only was he a prankster, he was also a total asshole, but in a slick way. I learned a lot from him about being an asshole, but the following is the greatest prank of all time.

At the time he went to an unnamed college in Montgomery, Alabama -- and at this time Alabama was just getting over the civil rights movement as well as more and more integration. I'm not against this, but it is important for what's about to happen.

For those who do not know, Montgomery is the capital of Alabama, thus that is where the Alabama Capital Building is located, as well as the civil rights museum, white house of the confederacy, Martin Luther King Jr's house, and a whole shit load of other things related to the history of our nation.

One of his college buddies worked as an intern in the capital building and knew about a weakness in security. They formulated a plan that would echo through every citizen of Alabama, the south, and cause a lot of controversy.

Shortly after midnight before Monday morning he and his two college buddies broke into the Alabama Capital building and took the stairs to the top of the dome. They took down the current 50 star American flag and put up a Confederate Battle Flag (the kind you see in trailers a lot).

The following morning it was all over the news, and caused a huge controversy in the nation. It's now pretty much forgotten, and to my knowledge not many people actually know who did it.

The story would have been a bit longer, but it was hard to tell it without giving away any information that might be dangerous to my uncle. He is not racist, he's just an asshole.