Adventures of an Asshole

Because you suck

 

Rants - Fucking Hilarious Rapper - 30-Jan-2008 @ 15:45

Holy shit, I cannot believe this. I was at work and a fellow co-worker and I decided to take a lunch break. We were at this kick ass local restaraunt, but that's for another time. When we were there, we found a CD in a thin, plastic cover. Inside was not just a CD, but a old-fashioned burned CD without any cover on it, it was obvious it was poorly put together.

There was a piece of paper inside the little plastic cover, obviously printed on a color laser printer. The picture was indeed worth a thousand words. First and foremost, this "artist" called himself "Cing J", but as the picture below shows, it's "pronounced King J".

Let's analyze the picture further.

(Click for full version)

"The Infamous KGB Presents", who the fuck is the KGB? I assume they're not talking about the Russian KGB; even though they were responsible for some really stupid things in history, I doubt they'd do anything this asinine. 

When you have to tell someone how to pronounce your name on the cover, it proves two things 1) You are an utter moron who doesn't realize if people will likely mispronounce your name, you aren't very marketable, and 2) That C before soft vowels (E, I, Y) is pronounced like an S, pretty much always in English. If this guy made out of out the second grade, I suggest he at least learn how to spell his own name before printing it all over town.

"We Got That Work", oh man, so cool, sounds like he's "putting in work" as they say. Wow, I've never heard of a rapper who claimed / used to be a drug dealer, what will come of this new fangled marketing strategy? Well, we know he intends on putting out at least another album of the same name, otherwise it wouldn't be referred to as "Vol 1", but I'm not sure how much you can rap about being a poser.

"Featuring Y.C." Who the fuck is that? Am I to assume that C also represents a K? Perhaps it means "You're C-retarded". Regardless I bet "Hustla Muzic", "AFG", and "545" and their rich "CEOs" that nobody has ever heard of are going to be all the rage in the news.

Lastly, I didn't realize that people put their own Parental Advisory stickers. Especially when it's of the wrong font, style, size, and so forth.

The C, the Kitchen Crip gang sign suggests he may be trying to say he represents the Crips, however in this case I be he really means the "Cripples" considering he looks like he has down's syndrome.